Friday, January 30, 2009

Is money and anxiety ruining your marriage?

By Kathy Nelson

Being married can help reduce all sorts of illness for men, it has long been said that married men live longer than their unmarried counterparts. There have been enough studies on this for us to know it is true that marriage helps us deal with both physical and mental illness better.

Most couples will experience some financial ups and downs at some point in their relationship. That is perfectly normal, but what really matters is how you deal with them. As a couple you must communicate your feelings , even the negative ones, with each other or they will sit there and fester until they explode.

If your spouse is already the type of person who suffers from some stress related problems then now is the time for you to be watching their behavior closer than ever before. There is nothing that can pile on the stress like a job loss and all the financial woes that follow.

Anxiety attacks can lay in wait for you for years, coming to the fore when you are suddenly put under some sort of extra ordinary pressure. If you are facing a job lay of or are experiencing financial problems then there is a good chance that you could start to experience feelings of anxiety and panic.

During times of stress it can be difficult to work out what is normal behavior and what are the warning signs of a impending anxiety attack. If you notice your spouse showing signs of nausea, shaking and actively avoiding situations that they would previously have been happy to go to then it is time to discuss this with them and make an appointment to see a medical professional.

There is no shame to having feelings of anxiety and even panic, the only shame is if you know your partner is suffering and you don't do anything to help them deal with it. When you work together you have a much better chance of dealing with the anxiety and the root cause of it earlier and with less pain than if you just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Once you have started to talk about the anxiety then you can arrange to go and see a Dr together, the Dr may not want the partner who is not suffering in the actual meeting but you should go along for support at the very least.

Remember that your marriage is more important than any property, you can always get another house while it is a lot harder to build up the love and friendship that comes with years of marriage.

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