Preparing to break the news to your kids that you're divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest?
There's no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you'll ever have. It's a talk your children won't want to have-and you must be prepared.
There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Learn some of the most important ones so you can avoid them.
Making your children choose between their parents. Don't ask your children to make decisions or judgments regarding the parents they love. This puts enormous pressure on them. It's your place to make all parenting decisions.
Forgetting to emphasize that your children are innocent. Often children blame themselves for their parent's failed marriage. It is important to remind the kids often that they played no part in the decision to divorce. They are not to blame.
Confiding adult details to children so as to attract their allegiance or sympathy. Kids are confused and burdened by this complex emotional information. Share it with your friends or professional counselors, not with your children.
The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition, many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.
Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on their innocent psyches. Avoid the mistakes we have discussed. Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation on which to face the changes ahead with security, compassion and love.
There's no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you'll ever have. It's a talk your children won't want to have-and you must be prepared.
There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Learn some of the most important ones so you can avoid them.
Making your children choose between their parents. Don't ask your children to make decisions or judgments regarding the parents they love. This puts enormous pressure on them. It's your place to make all parenting decisions.
Forgetting to emphasize that your children are innocent. Often children blame themselves for their parent's failed marriage. It is important to remind the kids often that they played no part in the decision to divorce. They are not to blame.
Confiding adult details to children so as to attract their allegiance or sympathy. Kids are confused and burdened by this complex emotional information. Share it with your friends or professional counselors, not with your children.
The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition, many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.
Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on their innocent psyches. Avoid the mistakes we have discussed. Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation on which to face the changes ahead with security, compassion and love.
About the Author:
Rosalind Sedacca Certified Corporate Trainer and relationship facilitator, is the creator of the new ebook which is a great tool for Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce. For free articles, free ezine and other valuable resources for parents, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com When it comes to Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce get some sound professional advice.
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