This holiday season many may find that they are without someone to enjoy the holidays with. There are many options available with lots of parties and events to engage in fun and cozy times. For those that are single or in between relationships there are many social choices to make. This brings us to the subject of expectations. As I have mentioned in previous blogs the dating process is not for the faint of heart. It is important to go into this arena with the right attitude. I have heard so many horror stories from friends, family, and acquaintances of the trials and tribulations of dating. (Especially internet dating!) In order to travel this treacherous and yet wonderful path of meeting and greeting, which can be both exciting and nerve-racking, one must enter the entire process with the right attitude.
Dating websites allow people to connect with people they never would have met dating conventionally. With such a diverse group of people on these social networking sites your never sure what your going to get. Men and women usually see things differently, a dear friend of mine has a strong stance on how dating should go. From this perceptive males point of view, too many people begin the process with expectations that lead them down the slippery hill into dating hell. He believes that if you spend more time than two phone conversations before you actually meet, that you then fall into the jaws of the false expectations pit by building up in your mind a fantasy person. Although internet photos are exchanged and some of your deepest, darkest secrets are exposed to one another, you still have no clue who you are really dealing with until you meet face to face. My male friends answer to this false expectation dilemma is that one must absolutely meet if not for anything more than a cup of coffee and a half hour of each others time by the end of the second phone conversation.
Another dilemma that has been reported by both men and women is of long distance relationships, where one or both partners travel to see each other. In reporting a recent experience by a female friend of mine, she states that: a man flew in from Timbuktu, Alaska (all names and places are changed to protect identities) for a twenty four hour period to meet her. By the end of the evening, to her dismay, she realized that this mans expectations were that of a roll in the hay with sprinkles on top. To his dismay, no exotic holiday cupcakes on the menu that evening. The evening will go down in history as one of her most distasteful dating experiences ever. What were the red flags for dating disaster here? In this case, both parties expectations failed. She was expecting a well-educated gentleman; he was expecting a POA (piece of ass).
When getting to know new people you should always be upfront and truthful with them. Being deceitful or not telling the other person what your expectations are in the beginning can either result in a date from hell or trust issues later on down the road between the two of you. As long as you know that you have truthfully posted recent and accurate photos (both parties), are within three years of your actual age posted online, and don't have a current or ex-lover in your closet at home you should be able to enjoy this wonderful season with a date or two that wont end up in the Guinness Book of Records for worst holiday date ever.
Dating websites allow people to connect with people they never would have met dating conventionally. With such a diverse group of people on these social networking sites your never sure what your going to get. Men and women usually see things differently, a dear friend of mine has a strong stance on how dating should go. From this perceptive males point of view, too many people begin the process with expectations that lead them down the slippery hill into dating hell. He believes that if you spend more time than two phone conversations before you actually meet, that you then fall into the jaws of the false expectations pit by building up in your mind a fantasy person. Although internet photos are exchanged and some of your deepest, darkest secrets are exposed to one another, you still have no clue who you are really dealing with until you meet face to face. My male friends answer to this false expectation dilemma is that one must absolutely meet if not for anything more than a cup of coffee and a half hour of each others time by the end of the second phone conversation.
Another dilemma that has been reported by both men and women is of long distance relationships, where one or both partners travel to see each other. In reporting a recent experience by a female friend of mine, she states that: a man flew in from Timbuktu, Alaska (all names and places are changed to protect identities) for a twenty four hour period to meet her. By the end of the evening, to her dismay, she realized that this mans expectations were that of a roll in the hay with sprinkles on top. To his dismay, no exotic holiday cupcakes on the menu that evening. The evening will go down in history as one of her most distasteful dating experiences ever. What were the red flags for dating disaster here? In this case, both parties expectations failed. She was expecting a well-educated gentleman; he was expecting a POA (piece of ass).
When getting to know new people you should always be upfront and truthful with them. Being deceitful or not telling the other person what your expectations are in the beginning can either result in a date from hell or trust issues later on down the road between the two of you. As long as you know that you have truthfully posted recent and accurate photos (both parties), are within three years of your actual age posted online, and don't have a current or ex-lover in your closet at home you should be able to enjoy this wonderful season with a date or two that wont end up in the Guinness Book of Records for worst holiday date ever.
No comments:
Post a Comment