What makes tourists and foreigners attractive to local girls? What makes celebrity gossip so incredibly interesting? Why does it matter more that Jennifer Lopez runs out of toilet paper than when that happens to you? We should think about that!
If you are like me, then you have already and the answer is easy for sure: ordinary things. People are drawn to seemingly mundane topics and stories because they can relate to them on the spot. If we talk about mundane things we can instantly attract people anywhere. You might have noticed that we do that already with our friends: we talk about anything, important and unimportant alike. So when we do that to a stranger, it creates an instant feeling of "intimacy".
Look at celebrities: Have you ever watched an interview with Sandra Bullock or Bill Maher? When they talk, they talk about ordinary things. They talk about how they rescued a dog or a how they went on a skiing trip, how they did this and that. The things they talk about are seemingly about day-to-day issues, things everyone immediately relates to:
"I like the Pizza in Italy" or "Did you ever notice that the milk in Austria tastes different?"
I try to be as mundane about the things I talk about as possible. Let me give you a few examples:
"I noticed the birds this morning when I woke up"
"I give this piece of paper to my dog so she can eat it and that makes her happy, isn't that awesome? I mean, a piece of paper"
"Do you smell it? The smell of fresh croissants from the pastry around the corner"
"Wasn't it a beautiful day yesterday?"
"Did you see the clouds up there? This is the most amazing formation ever!"
I always keep a low profile when it comes to talking about anything. Need another example? When I recently went out, I was talking to this cutie. She was born in LA, always lived there and apart from a couple of trips to Mexico and the East Coast of the USA hasn't been around a lot - she was also the dedicated driver for her friends. So we started to talk and I tell her about how LA is so diverse and that this is what I like about it the most:
ME "Did you ever notice that people here in LA are kind of difficult to talk to?"
HER "Yeah, that's true. Everyone thinks that they are special!"
ME "Do you remember when we were little? Back in kindergarten, we were talking to anyone, we were making friends so easily and life was good - what has changed?"
SHE "I don't know?! But thinking of it, it's sad - maybe we lost our innocence?"
ME "Oh yeah, totally. When was the last time you have enjoyed a sunset in Malibu or the sunrise over Mulholland?"
SHE "Let me think! I don't think I ever did that on purpose, I don't recall that I ever watched the sunrise over Mulholland. Is it pretty?"
ME "You bet! It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen because it draws such a strong picture, full of contrast. Everything looks so peacefully - it's almost like having a dream."
SHE "WOW, never thought it would be that beautiful but the way you explain it, it must be special!"
ME "I'm very disappointed in you, living all your life in LA and haven't even seen the sunrise over Mulholland! I feel kinda sad now!"
SHE "Yeah, it's just nobody ever, I mean never ever, asked me to watch it and by myself I never actually thought of doing it. Why do you feel obligated?"
ME "Because I can't let you go on with your life knowing how beautiful the sunrise is without you ever seeing it. So, when are we going?"
She "(laughs) You move fast, do you?"
ME "God knows how long we'll be having those sunrises after all - we gotta hurry before we're running out of them (smiling)"
She "Ok, here's my number, I'm busy this week but next week I'm fine."
ME "Great! I'll bring the fresh and warm bagels and you bring the tea! Just milk, no sugar for me, deal?"
SHE "We got a deal!"
So, what just happened there? I was talking with this girl about mundane things: sunset and sunrise. I was also foreshadowing but I will get into more details about that in another post. We did not talk about what I do for living or what she does, we did not brag about how cool we are, nothing like that. We kept the conversation casual but yet interesting. Although she is beautiful I did not complement her or make any moves (largely because logistics would not have worked out and that would have not gotten me anywhere). I was just that man who appreciates the sunrise and she loved it.
She got approached by a couple of chodes that night but I bet that our conversation was the most genuine and memorable by far. Again I used Line Of Sight to show her that I am a genuinely nice guy and even though she said she was busy for the rest of the week, she texted me early in the morning "Did you make it home safely? I hope we don't run out of sunrises or sunsets before we will meet next week".
So talking about ordinary things creates attraction because we sound genuine and like someone they have known for a long time. I heard that more than once "I feel like I have known you forever" - this is why this always works. It creates a feeling of friendship and intimacy you normally only find between friends.
We appreciate life and simple things. We are not obsessively in love with ourselves and we don't have to brag about who we are or what car we're driving. We don't seek approval or respect by trying to impress people. If they like you for being the ordinary guy, imagine what will happen as soon as they find out how awesome you really are? As soon as they hear that you are playing in a band or skydive or engineer bicycles or go bungee jumping or whatever it is that you do to enrich your life. They basically like you for being "simple" and then they find out, randomly or by accident or by checking out your facebook page, that there is way more to you than what they thought. You will come around as humble and with a strong character; they will think "wow, it keeps getting better and better!" Don't use all your bullets at once - let them discover instead how special you are.
If you are like me, then you have already and the answer is easy for sure: ordinary things. People are drawn to seemingly mundane topics and stories because they can relate to them on the spot. If we talk about mundane things we can instantly attract people anywhere. You might have noticed that we do that already with our friends: we talk about anything, important and unimportant alike. So when we do that to a stranger, it creates an instant feeling of "intimacy".
Look at celebrities: Have you ever watched an interview with Sandra Bullock or Bill Maher? When they talk, they talk about ordinary things. They talk about how they rescued a dog or a how they went on a skiing trip, how they did this and that. The things they talk about are seemingly about day-to-day issues, things everyone immediately relates to:
"I like the Pizza in Italy" or "Did you ever notice that the milk in Austria tastes different?"
I try to be as mundane about the things I talk about as possible. Let me give you a few examples:
"I noticed the birds this morning when I woke up"
"I give this piece of paper to my dog so she can eat it and that makes her happy, isn't that awesome? I mean, a piece of paper"
"Do you smell it? The smell of fresh croissants from the pastry around the corner"
"Wasn't it a beautiful day yesterday?"
"Did you see the clouds up there? This is the most amazing formation ever!"
I always keep a low profile when it comes to talking about anything. Need another example? When I recently went out, I was talking to this cutie. She was born in LA, always lived there and apart from a couple of trips to Mexico and the East Coast of the USA hasn't been around a lot - she was also the dedicated driver for her friends. So we started to talk and I tell her about how LA is so diverse and that this is what I like about it the most:
ME "Did you ever notice that people here in LA are kind of difficult to talk to?"
HER "Yeah, that's true. Everyone thinks that they are special!"
ME "Do you remember when we were little? Back in kindergarten, we were talking to anyone, we were making friends so easily and life was good - what has changed?"
SHE "I don't know?! But thinking of it, it's sad - maybe we lost our innocence?"
ME "Oh yeah, totally. When was the last time you have enjoyed a sunset in Malibu or the sunrise over Mulholland?"
SHE "Let me think! I don't think I ever did that on purpose, I don't recall that I ever watched the sunrise over Mulholland. Is it pretty?"
ME "You bet! It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen because it draws such a strong picture, full of contrast. Everything looks so peacefully - it's almost like having a dream."
SHE "WOW, never thought it would be that beautiful but the way you explain it, it must be special!"
ME "I'm very disappointed in you, living all your life in LA and haven't even seen the sunrise over Mulholland! I feel kinda sad now!"
SHE "Yeah, it's just nobody ever, I mean never ever, asked me to watch it and by myself I never actually thought of doing it. Why do you feel obligated?"
ME "Because I can't let you go on with your life knowing how beautiful the sunrise is without you ever seeing it. So, when are we going?"
She "(laughs) You move fast, do you?"
ME "God knows how long we'll be having those sunrises after all - we gotta hurry before we're running out of them (smiling)"
She "Ok, here's my number, I'm busy this week but next week I'm fine."
ME "Great! I'll bring the fresh and warm bagels and you bring the tea! Just milk, no sugar for me, deal?"
SHE "We got a deal!"
So, what just happened there? I was talking with this girl about mundane things: sunset and sunrise. I was also foreshadowing but I will get into more details about that in another post. We did not talk about what I do for living or what she does, we did not brag about how cool we are, nothing like that. We kept the conversation casual but yet interesting. Although she is beautiful I did not complement her or make any moves (largely because logistics would not have worked out and that would have not gotten me anywhere). I was just that man who appreciates the sunrise and she loved it.
She got approached by a couple of chodes that night but I bet that our conversation was the most genuine and memorable by far. Again I used Line Of Sight to show her that I am a genuinely nice guy and even though she said she was busy for the rest of the week, she texted me early in the morning "Did you make it home safely? I hope we don't run out of sunrises or sunsets before we will meet next week".
So talking about ordinary things creates attraction because we sound genuine and like someone they have known for a long time. I heard that more than once "I feel like I have known you forever" - this is why this always works. It creates a feeling of friendship and intimacy you normally only find between friends.
We appreciate life and simple things. We are not obsessively in love with ourselves and we don't have to brag about who we are or what car we're driving. We don't seek approval or respect by trying to impress people. If they like you for being the ordinary guy, imagine what will happen as soon as they find out how awesome you really are? As soon as they hear that you are playing in a band or skydive or engineer bicycles or go bungee jumping or whatever it is that you do to enrich your life. They basically like you for being "simple" and then they find out, randomly or by accident or by checking out your facebook page, that there is way more to you than what they thought. You will come around as humble and with a strong character; they will think "wow, it keeps getting better and better!" Don't use all your bullets at once - let them discover instead how special you are.
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