Monday, March 2, 2009

How to Get Back Together with Your Ex in Easy Steps

By Redford Stanten

When you have just broken up why is it the first thought you have can often be, "how do I get back together?" It's almost a knee jerk reaction to want things the way they were. Without even considering what caused the breakup or what needs to change in the relationship, your overwhelming thought is just to be back together.

It can be a matter of frantically trying to run through your mind what you can do to put the relationship back together. Not being sure of what happened, or where you go from here can be very depressing. You go back and forth between should I call, stop by and do nothing. Believe me, the best course of action at this point is to do nothing. Your ex may feel trapped if you start chasing.

You always hear you should trust your instincts not now!! What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"

One of the biggest problems with a breakup is the constant questioning of what went wrong. We all have been in situations where we just can't stop ourselves from rehashing things over and over. If you can get yourself to the point that you can accept the reality of where you are this will be a big help in moving forward and possibly getting back together. When things are calm it's easier to look at things and make good decisions. If your ex knows that you accept where things are, it makes it more likely that a meaningful conversation can start.

If it's possible, it is best to just not communicate for a while. This quiet does wonders in letting the dust settle. It's so easy for things to get out of hand. If you have a little time you can go back to thinking of what was so good about the relationship and why you wanted it in the first place. If there is any hope of getting back together your ex has to be able to remember just why the relationship is so important.

Getting back together is something that won't happen unless your ex can actually miss you and want you back. If there is time when you are not around, this allows these feelings to come out and increases the chance that you can work things out.

The next time you see your ex is going to reveal a lot about the possible future of the relationship. Not only what is being said, but the whole tone of the meeting will give you a lot of information about where your ex is emotionally. You have to be ready to watch for this and accept it for what it really is. Getting back together will happen if you both have grown and are capable and ready to make whatever changes are needed.

There isn't an easy answer to "how to get back together with my ex". Remember there are two people involved. During the time that has passed one or both of you may be ready to pick up where you left off. If both of you are now on the same page getting back together will be a piece of cake!

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