If you are trying to get back your girlfriend, you'll have to approach the situation with a lot of care. Understand that a lot of feelings, both yours and hers were injured and that it will take a while for them to heal. A good deal of self control will be needed so that you won't stir up the old arguments that brought about the break up.
Here are some suggestions:
You ought to think about why the breakup happened and whether anything can be done to improve things between the two of you. What can be done so that there won't be any more breakups later on? Compromise will most likely be required. Can you live with them? What about her? An understanding of the reasons for the breakup will help you in avoiding accidentally starting up old conflicts when you approach her.
Two requirements will be essential that tend to be contradictory. On the one hand, it's very important that you maintain contact with her. On the other, you cannot get too aggressive since this may drive her further away. In fact, contact should be allowed to cool off some but not terminated.
You'll have to make it known in a subtle way that you want to be in her life. Your communication should come across as relaxed, easy going, and not overdone. Send the occasional "what's up?" email but don't fill up her inbox because it will give her the wrong impression.
Try to find positive and safe ways which make it clear that you're thinking about her. Let her know that she's still important to you by remembering the dates in her life that are important. Give a card to her on her birthday.
It is vital that you not become isolated from the rest of the world. Go out with your friends and keep an active social life. This enables you to feel confident and positive. You don't want your ex to think that you have come unglued because of the breakup.
She should think that you're doing fine but that her welfare matters to you. This enables her to rethink the times that the two of you shared without feeling pressured.
Finally you should work to become friends with her again. This will reacquaint her with the fun things that you did together and will build trust. The trust will strengthen over time and bring you closer together and hopefully something deeper will develop.
There's no precise method or formula to getting your ex back but these suggestions should get you off to a good start. Maintaining the lines of communication is essential but it should be relaxed and subtle. Get too intense about it and she'll be pushed away.
Here are some suggestions:
You ought to think about why the breakup happened and whether anything can be done to improve things between the two of you. What can be done so that there won't be any more breakups later on? Compromise will most likely be required. Can you live with them? What about her? An understanding of the reasons for the breakup will help you in avoiding accidentally starting up old conflicts when you approach her.
Two requirements will be essential that tend to be contradictory. On the one hand, it's very important that you maintain contact with her. On the other, you cannot get too aggressive since this may drive her further away. In fact, contact should be allowed to cool off some but not terminated.
You'll have to make it known in a subtle way that you want to be in her life. Your communication should come across as relaxed, easy going, and not overdone. Send the occasional "what's up?" email but don't fill up her inbox because it will give her the wrong impression.
Try to find positive and safe ways which make it clear that you're thinking about her. Let her know that she's still important to you by remembering the dates in her life that are important. Give a card to her on her birthday.
It is vital that you not become isolated from the rest of the world. Go out with your friends and keep an active social life. This enables you to feel confident and positive. You don't want your ex to think that you have come unglued because of the breakup.
She should think that you're doing fine but that her welfare matters to you. This enables her to rethink the times that the two of you shared without feeling pressured.
Finally you should work to become friends with her again. This will reacquaint her with the fun things that you did together and will build trust. The trust will strengthen over time and bring you closer together and hopefully something deeper will develop.
There's no precise method or formula to getting your ex back but these suggestions should get you off to a good start. Maintaining the lines of communication is essential but it should be relaxed and subtle. Get too intense about it and she'll be pushed away.
About the Author:
Recently broken up? Get free advice on how to deal with a break up and see my review of The Magic of Making Up.
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