Confronting an alcoholic is never easy. It should never be attempted when the alcoholic is under the influence of alcohol, but must be planned when she is in her right mind. The decision to confront an alcoholic, sometimes called an intervention, must be carefully planned according to recommended expert guidelines, preferably those issued by a knowledgeable organization like Al-Anon, the support group for family members of alcoholics. Before confronting an alcoholic, check with the person's doctor or a specialist in treating alcoholic disorders to determine how to prepare to confront a drinker about whom you are concerned. Below are nine hints that may be helpful in preparing for an intervention.
See what the experts advise by speaking with the Al-Anon association in your area. People there can provide useful resource information as well as advising you on how to plan the. If there is no Al-Anon available in your area try to make an appointment with a licensed therapist, counselor, or psychologist to discuss the problem and how to best approach it. While in general interventions have similar characteristics, each situation has unique circumstances and each individual has personal characteristics that make each intervention different.
It can be tempting to criticize the alcoholic for being intoxicated yet again when someone you care about comes home drunk. This does not help the situation as the drunk will usually tune out the criticism for the time being, or forget about it the next day, when sober, and thus be unable to do anything about it. It is vital to talk to the person when they are sober, and hopefully in a reasonable frame of mind to hear your concerns. If you find that no spontaneous opportunities occur, you can attempt to schedule a talk after dinner or at another time when the two of you can be uninterrupted.
Those who help can be other relatives, close friends, or even members of Al-Anon with whom you have become acquainted. It may be helpful to find someone who has been in an intervention as they will know what problems may occur and how to handle them if they arise. However, bringing in a stranger may backfire as the alcoholic may become upset that you have brought in someone they are unfamiliar with. But that will depend on you and the circumstances surrounding the person who drinks too much, as well as professional opinions about the situation.
When the times comes to confront the alcoholic, you must not be wishy-washy or indirect. Use a factual tone of voice and lay out the situation. Use examples of the drunkard's problem behavior and ensuing results. List dates, frequency of bad behavior, amounts of alcohol consumed or sums of money spent on drinking, and other data to support your claims. Please note that it takes courage to confront an alcoholic, so don't back down. If the alcoholic chooses to argue with you, remain calm and point to the facts.
People often enable an alcoholic, allowing him or her to stay in that way by letting them sidestep responsibility and manipulate others to ignore his misdeeds or cover for him at work or in public. If you are one of the enablers the alcoholic may assume he can have his way again to get out of the intervention without making any changes. A huge part of an intervention's potential for success is the family member who arranges it being able to change, too. A person who wants to help must not continue to enable the alcoholic to abuse alcohol. Stand your ground and most importantly, don't let the alcoholic bully or wheedle you into giving up.
Along with confronting the drinker with the effects of his behavior, comes the importance for a recovery plan. Arrangements for rehabilitation program either onsite or as an outpatient at a local clinic or support group can be made with the help of an organization such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon or a family doctor. Halfway houses are even available if found to be a viable alternative. Check first to see is a certain detoxification program will accept the alcoholic you are helping and take the beginning steps for the person to be admitted without any delay after the intervention. When choosing a program, make sure to convey that you cannot guarantee the drinker will not only enroll but stick to the program unless he accepts the program as a part of a new alcohol free life.
If the alcoholic agrees to go into rehab, family members should try to provide support and encouragement during the detoxification phase and rehabilitation program, which involves patient and family education and can last anywhere between several days to several months. Most programs last 28 days or less, given people's job and family responsibilities, and some of the rehabilitators can continue as a non-resident while resuming career and household duties. However the program plays out, love, acceptance, and willingness to support changes in lifestyle can go a long way toward helping the alcoholic become successful in rehabilitation.
As mentioned briefly above, family members living with an alcoholic must be willing to take responsibility for their behavior and make necessary changes, too. Adjustments might include refusing to cover for an alcoholic's inability to go to work by reporting him absent, paying bills that the drinker should pay when he has spent his paycheck for alcoholic beverages, and letting the drunkard abuse or terrorize the family by acts of recklessness or violence. Sobriety can actually make life harder for the drinker and his family as everyone adjusts to new rules and learns how to follow through consistently. Some ex-drinkers can be ill- tempered, demanding, and peevish, while others may act guilty, embarrassed, or repentant.
After the intervention you may not see automatic results. The drinker may show indecision between agreeing to rehab and resisting it, or he may enter rehab but leave early or fall off the wagon after completing the program. No behavioral changes are guaranteed. After confronting an alcoholic, the only thing you can do is continue to hold your line and wait for the drinker's response. That alone will determine the outcome of your intervention. If the drinker opts not to continue treatment or it proves unsuccessful, the family should continue to receive counseling and support as they make decisions about the future.
One of the most difficult things is to live with an alcoholic. Their inability to control their drinking creates problems for not only themselves but for everyone around them. It can be hard for family to separate themselves from the drinker and create effective boundaries against the alcoholic in order to prevent the drinker's problems from spreading. With knowledge, professional support, and loads of assurance, relatives can incorporate a dose of tough love into their confrontation to give that person a chance at recovery. An intervention is a positive step in the right direction, a direction that includes admitting a problem and choosing to have the willingness to take action to end the addiction. These steps will lead to a better life for both the drinker and those he loves.
See what the experts advise by speaking with the Al-Anon association in your area. People there can provide useful resource information as well as advising you on how to plan the. If there is no Al-Anon available in your area try to make an appointment with a licensed therapist, counselor, or psychologist to discuss the problem and how to best approach it. While in general interventions have similar characteristics, each situation has unique circumstances and each individual has personal characteristics that make each intervention different.
It can be tempting to criticize the alcoholic for being intoxicated yet again when someone you care about comes home drunk. This does not help the situation as the drunk will usually tune out the criticism for the time being, or forget about it the next day, when sober, and thus be unable to do anything about it. It is vital to talk to the person when they are sober, and hopefully in a reasonable frame of mind to hear your concerns. If you find that no spontaneous opportunities occur, you can attempt to schedule a talk after dinner or at another time when the two of you can be uninterrupted.
Those who help can be other relatives, close friends, or even members of Al-Anon with whom you have become acquainted. It may be helpful to find someone who has been in an intervention as they will know what problems may occur and how to handle them if they arise. However, bringing in a stranger may backfire as the alcoholic may become upset that you have brought in someone they are unfamiliar with. But that will depend on you and the circumstances surrounding the person who drinks too much, as well as professional opinions about the situation.
When the times comes to confront the alcoholic, you must not be wishy-washy or indirect. Use a factual tone of voice and lay out the situation. Use examples of the drunkard's problem behavior and ensuing results. List dates, frequency of bad behavior, amounts of alcohol consumed or sums of money spent on drinking, and other data to support your claims. Please note that it takes courage to confront an alcoholic, so don't back down. If the alcoholic chooses to argue with you, remain calm and point to the facts.
People often enable an alcoholic, allowing him or her to stay in that way by letting them sidestep responsibility and manipulate others to ignore his misdeeds or cover for him at work or in public. If you are one of the enablers the alcoholic may assume he can have his way again to get out of the intervention without making any changes. A huge part of an intervention's potential for success is the family member who arranges it being able to change, too. A person who wants to help must not continue to enable the alcoholic to abuse alcohol. Stand your ground and most importantly, don't let the alcoholic bully or wheedle you into giving up.
Along with confronting the drinker with the effects of his behavior, comes the importance for a recovery plan. Arrangements for rehabilitation program either onsite or as an outpatient at a local clinic or support group can be made with the help of an organization such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon or a family doctor. Halfway houses are even available if found to be a viable alternative. Check first to see is a certain detoxification program will accept the alcoholic you are helping and take the beginning steps for the person to be admitted without any delay after the intervention. When choosing a program, make sure to convey that you cannot guarantee the drinker will not only enroll but stick to the program unless he accepts the program as a part of a new alcohol free life.
If the alcoholic agrees to go into rehab, family members should try to provide support and encouragement during the detoxification phase and rehabilitation program, which involves patient and family education and can last anywhere between several days to several months. Most programs last 28 days or less, given people's job and family responsibilities, and some of the rehabilitators can continue as a non-resident while resuming career and household duties. However the program plays out, love, acceptance, and willingness to support changes in lifestyle can go a long way toward helping the alcoholic become successful in rehabilitation.
As mentioned briefly above, family members living with an alcoholic must be willing to take responsibility for their behavior and make necessary changes, too. Adjustments might include refusing to cover for an alcoholic's inability to go to work by reporting him absent, paying bills that the drinker should pay when he has spent his paycheck for alcoholic beverages, and letting the drunkard abuse or terrorize the family by acts of recklessness or violence. Sobriety can actually make life harder for the drinker and his family as everyone adjusts to new rules and learns how to follow through consistently. Some ex-drinkers can be ill- tempered, demanding, and peevish, while others may act guilty, embarrassed, or repentant.
After the intervention you may not see automatic results. The drinker may show indecision between agreeing to rehab and resisting it, or he may enter rehab but leave early or fall off the wagon after completing the program. No behavioral changes are guaranteed. After confronting an alcoholic, the only thing you can do is continue to hold your line and wait for the drinker's response. That alone will determine the outcome of your intervention. If the drinker opts not to continue treatment or it proves unsuccessful, the family should continue to receive counseling and support as they make decisions about the future.
One of the most difficult things is to live with an alcoholic. Their inability to control their drinking creates problems for not only themselves but for everyone around them. It can be hard for family to separate themselves from the drinker and create effective boundaries against the alcoholic in order to prevent the drinker's problems from spreading. With knowledge, professional support, and loads of assurance, relatives can incorporate a dose of tough love into their confrontation to give that person a chance at recovery. An intervention is a positive step in the right direction, a direction that includes admitting a problem and choosing to have the willingness to take action to end the addiction. These steps will lead to a better life for both the drinker and those he loves.
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