If there are three tips that could improve your relationship starting today, the following three would be a great start. It doesn't have to be hard work to have a better love relationship.
Tip #1: Play. How much play you have in your relationship determines its quality, to a large degree. The more play you have with your mate, the less fighting there will be. There is an inverse relationship. If you are fighting a lot, you are not playing enough. So instead, fight to create time to play with your mate. You dont need hours a day to play, just a few hours a week to start will help everything.
So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning? Make the time to have fun with your mate!
Tip #2: Manage Conflict Smoothly. You will have conflict in any long term relationship. That's a given. But how you manage the conflict is the key to how well your relationship will endure. Relationships where partners scream a lot, scorn each other, and/or treat each other with contempt during conflict are unhealthy, and studies have shown they often won't last.
Since conflict is going to happen between any couple, it is worth learning how to deal with it in healthier ways. There are lots of ways to learn to minimize the damage conflict causes to your relationship. One simple method is to learn to breathe and de-escalate when things get too hot.
Tip Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading. Your mate can't read your mind. They don't actually just know what you want and need. Recognize this and help them out by asking for what you want. If you need some quiet time, ask for it. If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, ask for that as well.
So tip number three has to do with asking for what you want and need, and encouraging your mate to do so as well. This prevents a lot of problems over time.
Chapters could -and have - been written about each of these three tips. This is just a beginning introduction. But spending some time working on these three things can pay off for years in your relationship.
Tip #1: Play. How much play you have in your relationship determines its quality, to a large degree. The more play you have with your mate, the less fighting there will be. There is an inverse relationship. If you are fighting a lot, you are not playing enough. So instead, fight to create time to play with your mate. You dont need hours a day to play, just a few hours a week to start will help everything.
So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning? Make the time to have fun with your mate!
Tip #2: Manage Conflict Smoothly. You will have conflict in any long term relationship. That's a given. But how you manage the conflict is the key to how well your relationship will endure. Relationships where partners scream a lot, scorn each other, and/or treat each other with contempt during conflict are unhealthy, and studies have shown they often won't last.
Since conflict is going to happen between any couple, it is worth learning how to deal with it in healthier ways. There are lots of ways to learn to minimize the damage conflict causes to your relationship. One simple method is to learn to breathe and de-escalate when things get too hot.
Tip Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading. Your mate can't read your mind. They don't actually just know what you want and need. Recognize this and help them out by asking for what you want. If you need some quiet time, ask for it. If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, ask for that as well.
So tip number three has to do with asking for what you want and need, and encouraging your mate to do so as well. This prevents a lot of problems over time.
Chapters could -and have - been written about each of these three tips. This is just a beginning introduction. But spending some time working on these three things can pay off for years in your relationship.
About the Author:
You can get a free course on the 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School at Love Relationship Advice Skills. Learn how to fight proof and cheat proof your relationship. Johnnie S Laney teaches emotional and relationship skills and you can get the book How To Have The Relationship You Want here.
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